Post by bigro on Mar 10, 2012 14:41:07 GMT
So, started writing a new storymabob out of boredom, will do my best to actually stick to it. No really, I will, honest.
Oh, and if anything strikes you as odd tell me :? I want to know, advice will not be overlooked here.
o yea, minor NSFWitude on this, swearsies everywhere
And as usual, all feedback is appreciated and all criticisms moreso. I do want to improve, even if this is just a hobby for me it don't mean I have to be shit
Oh, and if anything strikes you as odd tell me :? I want to know, advice will not be overlooked here.
o yea, minor NSFWitude on this, swearsies everywhere
White yards.
“Well this is shit” Miles said unexcitedly as the show he was watching on the TV came to yet another exciting climax. “Dunno why I even bother with this crap anymore, it’s just gone so downhill of late” He said to his friend who was enjoying the exciting climax. “Shut up Miles” His friend said in an annoyed tone at him.
Miles just sighs and said “You’re such a fag will, why do you like this drama crap anyway?” and promptly stormed out the room in a shitty. Miles walked over to his fridge to find an overwhelming amount of emptiness there. “Will you dick, I told you to get food!” He yells out to his friend. “Oh I’m sorry Miles, I was too busy being a fag to get the food” Will yelled back sarcastically as ever. “Well fuck you too, spose I have to go do it, lazy fuckhead” Miles said poisonously at his friend as he walked by him on his way to the front door. “Love you!” Will said as he blew a kiss at Miles on his way out.
“Fucking bag of dicks” Miles grumbled to himself as he fumbled about for his car keys. The weather had been nice all day today, not too hot not too cold, just a reasonable temperature with a nice breeze. One would think Will and Miles would be outside enjoying the weather but alas they are cooped up inside watching terrible movies that Will enjoyed ever so much. Once on the road there was not all too much traffic, it was nice and smooth all the way to the local string of stores. This had a slight calming effect on Miles, bringing his ultimate rage to a crawling pace. Even better was when there was a car park directly outside the shops. That NEVER happens. Ever. Something was up. Oh that’s right, the parade was in town, everyone was out being ‘happy’ and having ‘fun’ which to Miles made no sense at all. So no one was out and about in town. Luckily the grocery store was still open. “Nice enough weather for ye eh?” the overly friendly cashier said to him as he walked in. “uhh…hmm? Oh yeah, it’s nice” Miles said blankly as he walked by the cashier to go get some grub. He walked right by all the nice healthy options and headed straight for where they keep the quick and shit things that are easy to prepare and taste good. He got 20 packets of 2-minute noodles and a couple loaves of bread, a well balanced diet indeed. He also got a little bit of fruit but that’s beside the point, he’s got a terrible diet. He paid for his stuff and left with the cashier saying, “Have a nice day” on his way out. Then he noticed something.
The video store next door was having a closing down sale. “Oh tits yes” Miles said as he spotted some of his favourite movies for only 50c. “Give me everything” He said dramatically as he entered and made the obviously upset owner of the store chuckle a little. “Take what you like hun, it all has to go” She said with a slight chuckle as if Miles had just made her day with such a silly remark. Such silliness was not to be overlooked. Miles pretty well filled an entire basket full of b grade movies that he and Will thrive off of. “Good to see you are taking those ones, to think I thought I was gonna have trouble getting rid of those” She said cheerily. “No problem miss, taking shit is what I do” Miles said like a doofus. All up his videos cost around $12 and he gladly put that on his savings account. He had been paid recently. “Gahaha, all these terrible movies for so little, THIS WILL BE AWESOME!” Miles said like an overly excited 3 years old. The store owner chuckled again. “You’re a dope you know that?” She said teasingly. “Tell you what hun, you’ve really brightened up my day…I’m gonna give you something that I think will help make you into a better person” She then said handing Miles a red VCR. “Uh...thanks I guess? Know who made this one?” Miles asked inquisitively as he looked down at the tape with a weird pattern on it. He got no answer from the lady who had vanished. Completely and utterly vanished. “Uhh...miss? Where'd you go? I don't even think my VCR player works, do you have this on a DVD?” Miles said while he aimlessly looked about for the woman. She was nowhere to be found...at all. Miles took his stuff and walked out, walked back in, took another DVD very sneakily then went and got in his car to drive off before she noticed. What a dick.
On the way home the weather got weird. The clouds that had been lingering overhead all day finally dropped their load in an almighty torrent of rain, Miles liked the rain so this was ok, what was not ok was when it started to hail. Miles had to pull over because it had suddenly become very hard for him to steer properly it was hailing so hard. With visibility at a bare maximum of ten meters and the hail getting progressively harder Miles parked his car under a tree and pulled out his trusty umbrella of ultimate dryness which he inherited from his grandmother and set off on foot, his house was after all only two streets over. Through the hail he trudged with his two bags of things. Miles noticed that the hail was becoming smaller, but falling harder. They were ball bearing size at the start but now they resembled thick needles getting thinner as time went on. After a while with many a curse word being uttered he managed to essentially flop inside his house to be unceremoniously greeted by Will with “What took you so long, I'm staaaarving”
“Shut the fuck up dickbag, it hailed and I had to walk the last two streets.” Miles snapped back at Will. “Well Sor-ry mister grumpy head, are those movies I spy?” Will said almost apologetically leaning to a more curious tone as he noticed the fat stash of DVD's and one lone VCR that had managed to sift it's way to the top of the bag.
“Uh dude? VCR? What is this, the 80's?” Will asked sarcastically as ever while leaning over backwards on the couch to reach the bag.
“Yeah VCR, lady chick at the store gave me it free for being a dope. Sucker” Miles then replies in a slightly evil tone. “Oh you naughty boy” Will say playfully.
“So...what first? I want to watch the VCR first in all honesty...something about it, it is just calling out to me or something man” Miles said. “Like really, it's silly, I just want so bad to just slam it in the machine and watch it all night long”
“Well hun...VCR's been broken for yonks, ya can't watch it. Now go make me some noodles while I start up...uhh...let's see...hmm...Ah here, Piranha. Looks good to me.” Will said semi-sympathetically. “Oh, and don't forget to put the flavour in this time Milliepoo”
So they watched the B-grade movie, it was sufficiently B-grade. They then watched another, and another, and another until it was 4am when Will fell asleep on Miles and Miles was already asleep.
At 4:38am Miles woke up. “uuuugh...where did my shirt go Will” He moaned. Will however gave a satisfying reply of a snore. “You dope” Miles smiled to himself. He noticed the VCR just sitting there on the floor in between the couch and the telly. Miles slowly got up as to not wake up Will and went to the tape that was calling to him almost. “Plaaaaay meeee” it was saying. In the voice of Matt Damon no less. He slowly slides off the couch onto the floor as if he was melting onto the floor and scootches over to the tape. “You so pretty” Miles said like a dork at the tape and he put it in the broken VCR player. The screen on the TV glared with static and made an incredibly loud static noise. Will woke up saying “The fuck?” as the screen slowly faded out into the pattern that was on the tape itself. Everything went silent.
“Well this is shit” Miles said unexcitedly as the show he was watching on the TV came to yet another exciting climax. “Dunno why I even bother with this crap anymore, it’s just gone so downhill of late” He said to his friend who was enjoying the exciting climax. “Shut up Miles” His friend said in an annoyed tone at him.
Miles just sighs and said “You’re such a fag will, why do you like this drama crap anyway?” and promptly stormed out the room in a shitty. Miles walked over to his fridge to find an overwhelming amount of emptiness there. “Will you dick, I told you to get food!” He yells out to his friend. “Oh I’m sorry Miles, I was too busy being a fag to get the food” Will yelled back sarcastically as ever. “Well fuck you too, spose I have to go do it, lazy fuckhead” Miles said poisonously at his friend as he walked by him on his way to the front door. “Love you!” Will said as he blew a kiss at Miles on his way out.
“Fucking bag of dicks” Miles grumbled to himself as he fumbled about for his car keys. The weather had been nice all day today, not too hot not too cold, just a reasonable temperature with a nice breeze. One would think Will and Miles would be outside enjoying the weather but alas they are cooped up inside watching terrible movies that Will enjoyed ever so much. Once on the road there was not all too much traffic, it was nice and smooth all the way to the local string of stores. This had a slight calming effect on Miles, bringing his ultimate rage to a crawling pace. Even better was when there was a car park directly outside the shops. That NEVER happens. Ever. Something was up. Oh that’s right, the parade was in town, everyone was out being ‘happy’ and having ‘fun’ which to Miles made no sense at all. So no one was out and about in town. Luckily the grocery store was still open. “Nice enough weather for ye eh?” the overly friendly cashier said to him as he walked in. “uhh…hmm? Oh yeah, it’s nice” Miles said blankly as he walked by the cashier to go get some grub. He walked right by all the nice healthy options and headed straight for where they keep the quick and shit things that are easy to prepare and taste good. He got 20 packets of 2-minute noodles and a couple loaves of bread, a well balanced diet indeed. He also got a little bit of fruit but that’s beside the point, he’s got a terrible diet. He paid for his stuff and left with the cashier saying, “Have a nice day” on his way out. Then he noticed something.
The video store next door was having a closing down sale. “Oh tits yes” Miles said as he spotted some of his favourite movies for only 50c. “Give me everything” He said dramatically as he entered and made the obviously upset owner of the store chuckle a little. “Take what you like hun, it all has to go” She said with a slight chuckle as if Miles had just made her day with such a silly remark. Such silliness was not to be overlooked. Miles pretty well filled an entire basket full of b grade movies that he and Will thrive off of. “Good to see you are taking those ones, to think I thought I was gonna have trouble getting rid of those” She said cheerily. “No problem miss, taking shit is what I do” Miles said like a doofus. All up his videos cost around $12 and he gladly put that on his savings account. He had been paid recently. “Gahaha, all these terrible movies for so little, THIS WILL BE AWESOME!” Miles said like an overly excited 3 years old. The store owner chuckled again. “You’re a dope you know that?” She said teasingly. “Tell you what hun, you’ve really brightened up my day…I’m gonna give you something that I think will help make you into a better person” She then said handing Miles a red VCR. “Uh...thanks I guess? Know who made this one?” Miles asked inquisitively as he looked down at the tape with a weird pattern on it. He got no answer from the lady who had vanished. Completely and utterly vanished. “Uhh...miss? Where'd you go? I don't even think my VCR player works, do you have this on a DVD?” Miles said while he aimlessly looked about for the woman. She was nowhere to be found...at all. Miles took his stuff and walked out, walked back in, took another DVD very sneakily then went and got in his car to drive off before she noticed. What a dick.
On the way home the weather got weird. The clouds that had been lingering overhead all day finally dropped their load in an almighty torrent of rain, Miles liked the rain so this was ok, what was not ok was when it started to hail. Miles had to pull over because it had suddenly become very hard for him to steer properly it was hailing so hard. With visibility at a bare maximum of ten meters and the hail getting progressively harder Miles parked his car under a tree and pulled out his trusty umbrella of ultimate dryness which he inherited from his grandmother and set off on foot, his house was after all only two streets over. Through the hail he trudged with his two bags of things. Miles noticed that the hail was becoming smaller, but falling harder. They were ball bearing size at the start but now they resembled thick needles getting thinner as time went on. After a while with many a curse word being uttered he managed to essentially flop inside his house to be unceremoniously greeted by Will with “What took you so long, I'm staaaarving”
“Shut the fuck up dickbag, it hailed and I had to walk the last two streets.” Miles snapped back at Will. “Well Sor-ry mister grumpy head, are those movies I spy?” Will said almost apologetically leaning to a more curious tone as he noticed the fat stash of DVD's and one lone VCR that had managed to sift it's way to the top of the bag.
“Uh dude? VCR? What is this, the 80's?” Will asked sarcastically as ever while leaning over backwards on the couch to reach the bag.
“Yeah VCR, lady chick at the store gave me it free for being a dope. Sucker” Miles then replies in a slightly evil tone. “Oh you naughty boy” Will say playfully.
“So...what first? I want to watch the VCR first in all honesty...something about it, it is just calling out to me or something man” Miles said. “Like really, it's silly, I just want so bad to just slam it in the machine and watch it all night long”
“Well hun...VCR's been broken for yonks, ya can't watch it. Now go make me some noodles while I start up...uhh...let's see...hmm...Ah here, Piranha. Looks good to me.” Will said semi-sympathetically. “Oh, and don't forget to put the flavour in this time Milliepoo”
So they watched the B-grade movie, it was sufficiently B-grade. They then watched another, and another, and another until it was 4am when Will fell asleep on Miles and Miles was already asleep.
At 4:38am Miles woke up. “uuuugh...where did my shirt go Will” He moaned. Will however gave a satisfying reply of a snore. “You dope” Miles smiled to himself. He noticed the VCR just sitting there on the floor in between the couch and the telly. Miles slowly got up as to not wake up Will and went to the tape that was calling to him almost. “Plaaaaay meeee” it was saying. In the voice of Matt Damon no less. He slowly slides off the couch onto the floor as if he was melting onto the floor and scootches over to the tape. “You so pretty” Miles said like a dork at the tape and he put it in the broken VCR player. The screen on the TV glared with static and made an incredibly loud static noise. Will woke up saying “The fuck?” as the screen slowly faded out into the pattern that was on the tape itself. Everything went silent.
And as usual, all feedback is appreciated and all criticisms moreso. I do want to improve, even if this is just a hobby for me it don't mean I have to be shit
